Oh, Great, my worst day in court ever, and its on the record

So, I went to court on Friday, for a status hearing.  Status hearings are not big, exciting things, like what you see on TV.  The Judge talks to you about the case, and you schedule the next date to come to court, and he tells you what you need to get done before then.

The main problem with court on Friday was that I was not having a great day.  My period started that morning, and right about when court started my cramps started.  So I took a couple advil, and then I spilled apple juice all over me washing them down.  Yay for not being able to swallow elegantly.

So, the judge called almost everyone else before we got called, so I got to sit in court, on a wooden bench for over an hour, when all I wanted to do was be curled up in bed with my computer on my lap like a heating pad.    

When the judge finally called me, I kept getting flustered.  He asked if anyone was there representing my client, and I forgot to answer.  And then I was all like "I'm here! I'm here!"  Super smooth.  

The mouth blunders continued.  It was just awful, I talked too fast, I said things that didn't sound right.  The other lawyers started inching away from me, just in case it was contagious.  

After it was all over, I kept telling myself, "its ok, the judge isn't going to remember you were a complete spaz in court today." Then, I remembered that the judge had asked a court reported to record the proceedings.

So, all my spaziness is recorded for posterity.  Joy.