I like knowing what is going to happen. I hate not knowing. I hate having to wait, to wonder about the future. I like creating ordered lists, and then working through those lists to get to my goal.
I do not like not knowing what is going to happen. I do not like hoping that someday I will have what I want. Waiting would be easier if I knew that on such and such a date, X would happen, and then so many years later, Y would happen.
But that isn't how my life is. How am I supposed to make a plan for my life, when I have no idea what is happening? How am I supposed to plan for the future?
I can't. And that frustrates me.